Together
Picture someone you have a grudge with opposite you and see how your conflict stands between you. How does it sound, look and feel? How much space does it take up? How far does this conflict reach into you and the other person?
Now picture yourself next to the person you consider your adversary with your conflict opposite both of you. How does it sound, look and feel now? Are you still adversaries or would it make more sense to focus your attention on the conflict rather than on each other? What is it really about? What is the feeling you would rather not feel?
Suppose there are no bad guys in this world but only people who are trying to work something out. That would make your adversary your team mate who has come to show you exactly where you need to heal. You two together have taken on the task to heal this conflict. How does it look now? Does it feel better?
Maybe not. Maybe all you can think of is that you are not going to be in a team with the person you have casted as your adversary. If that is so, consider whom you would help if you tackled the conflict side by side. If it´s a sibling you´re in a fight with, you would help your parents. If it´s your partner or ex-partner and you have kids, it is them you would release from this war zone they are stuck in. If it´s someone at work you would help the whole team by teaming up and clearing the conflict.
Look in the mirror, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Do I really want to feel this bad”? If you decide you want to feel better, you can start looking at how you are invested in this conflict and how you can change that. If you keep on fighting, the only winner is your ego who doesn´t give a damn about you. There must be a better way and you will find it.