Susanne Nieder
I was born in Munich in 1964, the third child of a former Catholic priest and a daughter from a fundamentalist Catholic family. My parents were the first in their village to graduate from high school, study and get a doctorate. Intelligence, the trained mind, was rated highest in our home, the ticket to freedom.
My parents were pioneers. My father put his energy into developing ways to teach German as a foreign language, my mother was one of the icebreakers who managed household, children and demanding academic work with huge personal effort in the 1960s.
The stress level in the family was correspondingly high. War and the Catholic Church could be survived and pushed back to some extent within one generation, but most of these experiences could not be processed. I have often wondered why my generation was so slow to take action. After different episodes of psychoanalysis and considerable self-experience, it is obvious to me: On a level below the surface we have been clearing rubble, processing inherited trauma and transforming guilt. It´s not that we’re done, but we have made some progress.
What strikes me most when I look at my own life is the mix of light and shadow. Difficult starting point, and yet my parents were each other´s true love, they loved their daughters and grandchildren dearly and provided for us amazingly well. Chronic illness and depressive phases, but then again adventures and successes, studying English and Russian in my adopted home of Berlin, extended stays in England, Italy, Russia, 20 years as editor of my beloved children’s page at the daily newspaper Der Tagesspiegel, many wonderful friends and teachers, a relationship that helped me grow and the births of two children when I was already in my 40s.
I see life as a grand narrative. I’m learning more and more that it is we who determine how our story unfolds. Of course there are external circumstances. But what if we set ourselves these tasks so that our soul learns something crucial? Time and again I have experienced the miracle that happens when we heal old patterns and fractures so that more love, more joy and happier stories can come through.
In 2023, after 28 years, I said goodbye to my job as a journalist to take up my work as a coach full-time. This is the way I want to tell stories today – in communion, as healing, as an incredible adventure that opens up ever greater expanses. Our mind contains infinitely more than the trained mind that my parents valued so highly. The journey has just begun.
My approach
Today we have a set of instruments that allows us to heal deep fractures in our mind. The approach that suits me most is through storytelling. We all do it, all day long. We hone the details, present our arguments, and hope to convince others that we are right and they are wrong. This is doomed to fail, if only because everyone else does the same.
The truth lies not in the arguments and visible details, it lies much deeper. We have hidden it beneath all our conflicts, judgments, accusations, self-attacks. The truth emerges when we bond. Without it, we can’t even agree on a shopping list. If, on the other hand, we are bonded in love, this removes all limitations and miracles can happen every day.
There are many methods to achieve a level of peace, centeredness and self-love where we can heal ourselves and those around us. A skin condition from the age of three and sleep disorders from the age of 19 brought me into contact with a large number of alternative healing methods, my interest in body awareness and self-expression lead me to Feldenkrais, Yoga, Alexander Technique, Grinberg, fitness, dance and singing. All of this forms part of experience.
In 2014 I completed my training as systemic coach at Coaching Spirale, Berlin, but in terms of self-awareness, Chuck and Lency Spezzano’s Psychology of Vision is the model that leads me ever further and deeper. At its core is the healing of relationships, the self-empowering approach of Friends Helping Friends, and a spirituality that is simultaneously down-to-earth and upwardly unlimited. Humor and an amazing community of like-minded people are essential components of this adventurous journey into the depths of the mind.
The goal is to bring balance to the feminine and masculine within us and to heal the stories of failure and defeat, self-attack, sacrifice and scarcity. Through this healing we can feel our connection to everything and everyone and leave behind the destructive paradigm of winners and losers. We are connected. We only win if everyone wins. And in the end, we only have one task in this life: to be happy. Let´s go!